The Tiger Blade

2005-Action
Thailand

In my curiosity of how Thailand is doing in its growth in its Cinematic arts, the people at Netflix (or quite possibly their A.I., which actually part times as a missile silo computer) recommended this film for me. It was a slow month and I decided to act upon the Internet gods request fearing a phallic shaped rocket object would appear with a course to my living room.

Synopsis:
When a highly volatile case confronts the police, a young maverick cop with mystical powers is put on the case. YOSTHANA teams up with the seductive DUANGDAO, and together they must hunt down and capture the brutal and deadly 'FIVE BULLETS BANDIT'. The gang is led by the fearsome, MAHESAK, who like Yosthana is skilled in the art of sorcery and magic. Mahesak can only be defeated with The Tiger Blade, a magical and ancient sword, replete with the powers of nature, and the forces of good. Yosthana must find the Tiger Blade, and bring Mahesak to justice, before the bandits bring total chaos to the city. The stage is set for a gruesome battle between the two nemesis, but only one can survive.

All-in-All:
Now if my synopsis sounds amazing to you, it did to me as well. This was written by a really good salesman with a mastery of the English language, because he did mention some things that would be in the film, but the film itself was a horrible waste of time. I would rather receive several bites from the neighborhood raccoon than to watch this film again. The fight scenes were average at best (the only one in the beginning) and the actual Tiger Blade (mind you what the synopsis claimed to be a mystical sword) was actual the Cops code name, the mystical sword that can kill the villains? only used once, the rest of the time, i guess the director forgot about the weapon because the other villains (the Five Bullets Bandit) died by elbows and beatdowns. Don't watch this, the cover looks good, and its claim that this is the Ong Bak evolution (with strings and wires?) is an all out lie from the sales pitch.

Riko's Rating: D-

Zorro the Gay Blade

1981-Comedy

I remember watching this film when I was 10 years old. Those were the days when Political Correctness and fun romps with gray gay areas. As a kid, I remember laughing at slapstick comedy and funny plot twists, but never full comprehended the Gay humor or Witty quips.

Synopsis:

Mexico, 1840s. When the new Spanish Governor begins to grind the peasants under his heel, wealthy landowner Don Diego Vega (George Hamilton) follows in his late father's footsteps and becomes Zorro, the masked man in black with a sword who rights wrongs and becomes a folk hero to the people of Mexico. When Vega sprains his ankle and cannot figure out how to continue his campaign against the corrupt Captain Esteban, luck stays with Vega when his long-lost twin brother Ramon (also George Hamilton in a dual role), who was sent off by their father to the British Royal Navy to make a "man" of him, whom is also flamboyantly gay, and now known as Lt. Bunny Wigglesworth, appears for a visit. 'Bunny' agrees to temporarily take his brother's place as Zorro, but wishes to make some changes. Bunny becomes 'the Gay Blade' in which his new suits are lemon, plum, and scarlet colored, and Bunny insists on using a whip. Bunny also becomes the liaison between Don Vega and the liberal American activist/feminist Charlotte (Lauren Hutton) a long-time critic of Captain Esteban's policies, and who has a crush on her masked hero.

All-in-All:

This film is freakin funny. The jokes, the lines and deliveries, hilarious! Man, this would have to be one of my favorite 100 comedies of all time. These were the times of true satire comedies and not the crap we shovel through today. The plot was different, and that the whole 'Gay' thing was key to the film, it wasn't the trick pony that I expected. surprising me with an actual plot and character development. Watch this if you enjoy laughing and not feeling the weight of Political Correctness.

Riko's Rating: A

Throne of Blood

1957- Epic

Japan-Akira Kurosawa

I've been a fan of his work since high school. I think his best work to date was 'Ran'. I love his style of directing, and can only imagine how much Kurosawa influenced Japanese Cinema with his East meets West style. Like so many of his films Kurosawa has taken another Shakespeare work and adapted it to the Japanese audience. Nothing new for our era of remakes and copies of old films, but back then it was something that can make or break your career.

Synopsis:

A transposition of Shakespeare's 'Macbeth' to medieval Japan. After a great military victory, Lords Washizu and Miki are lost in the dense Cobweb Forest, where they meet a mysterious old woman who predicts great things for Washizu and even greater things for Miki's descendants. Once out of the forest, Washizu and Miki are immediately promoted by the Emperor. Washizu, encouraged by his ambitious wife, plots to make even more of the prophecy come true, even if it means killing the Emperor.

All-in-All:

This film was fun to watch and it was fast paced (as fast pace as a Shakespeare tale gets). I enjoyed the similarities of both cultures, and is a testament of Shakespeare's skill of a writer having a tale that can cross oceans and cultures. This was a treat for me as a fan of both director and writer, but some things were amiss. The acting was 2 dimensional and forced, the music was often times none existent, and the story itself felt shallow (I'll bet to fit the time restraints). But then again I'm just grasping at straws here.

Riko's Rating: B+

Doomsday

2008-Action
United Kingdom

When I first saw this film as a trailer, i was amazed.
This had everything that a 'Man Movie required.
Action-Explosions-Random Acts of over the top violence-and at least 10min. of no dialogue other than the characters screaming as if giving birth to a spiked ball from their penis hole.
To say that this film was something i was looking forward to view was an understatement.
Another bonus... it was from the same cast/crew/director from another Awesome film titled "Dog Soldiers".
Nothing could go wrong right?

Synopsis:
Scotland is ravished with an unknown flesh eating virus. The only resolution the government/world can think of is creating a barrier around Scotland and let the people inside, infected or not. 20 years have passed and the Virus has reared its ugly head in London. Upon discovery that there were still survivors in Scotland, the government sends its top agents to find a cure, before another barricaded loss occurs.

All-in-All:
This film mixed 3 manly genres. Zombie, Mad Max, and Lord of the Rings.
I know what your thinking, 'This is truly a sight to behold' but to no avail. Each segment was average at best, drawing out the general plot and to make things worse it does a horrible job at making transitions from each... umm..... realm?
from a Zombie like infested horror film comes a Mad Max biker gang complete with shoulder pads and Mohawks, then just over the mountain, the hero's face off against knights, castles, and armored horses, then ends with a political climax of 'The government is hiding the truth'. It frustrates me watching the fight scenes due to them ending too soon, or its too dark to even see the moves. To quote some person i don't really know "This was a Beautiful Mess".

Riko's Rating: C

Color Me Kubrick

2005-Dark Comedy

I love John Malkevich, and I love Kubricks movies.

I still have images of death rapes in 'Clockwork Orange' viewing the film at the age of 6. Twisted and insane, so when i've heard of this film it was one of those film that i've kept in the back of my head as sort of 'watch if i have nothing else to watch'. Upon seeing the cover in my local video store and its hilarious plot, i've decided to netflix the damned thing to silence the voice in my head.

Synopsis:

The true story of a man who posed as director Stanley Kubrick during the production of Kubrick's last film, Eyes Wide Shut, despite knowing very little about his work and looking nothing like him.

All-in-All:

This was extreamly strange, especially with the people i viewed this film with. Tomsovic/Morris/ and myself. 3 Manly Men watching a borderline gay film. The story is funny and the director was obviously paying homage to Kubrick in little subtle ways. There were moments of discomfort and awkwardness as us 3 men finished the film and kinda apologized to each other and pretended to have never remembered the film existed.

Riko's Rating: D

Kiltro

2006-Action/Martial Arts/Drama?
-Chile-

The title says it all, one look at the Cover and it spoke to me.
Reminds me of the days of Mortal Combat, and Fighting Games of the 90's. I've even read somewhere that this was Chile's answerer to 'Ong-Bak' so immediately i needed to watch this film with all my dear loved ones, to share the possible glory or the more logical pain of viewing this film.

Synopsis:
This is a story of a lovable ogre/oaf named Zamir (aka Kiltro) a street fighter in love with the lovely daughter of a tae kwon do master. When her father is threatened, Zamir must learn to control his fighting skills in order to protect them all.

All-in-All:
If you read anything about this film you find that people (mostly of Chilean descent) fish for anything positive about this film like, 'Easy and Fun to watch', right now I'm gonna tell you that 'Easy' means a broken story/plot with lots of holes with no nonsense logic. 'Fun to watch' is like enjoying getting your foot crushed by 'Smart Car' while getting pummeled on the back of the head by a woman named 'Frank'. Keep away from this film. Its Chile's answer to crap and life.

Riko's Rating: F-

King of California

2007-Drama/Comedy

This film was never on the radar up until I saw the cover of the DVD in my local Target. The cover was interesting enough to have me read the preface and since then I knew i should view this film.
Unfortunately Netflix is the kind of system that keeps one waiting a while so that by the time I finally received the film on mail (2months later... yea i have a long list) I came into this film with no hype and no expectation outside of this film going to be weird, but with the mood that i'm in, I'm more currently into gritty detective noir at this point, and this film is totally the opposite.

Synpsis:
A fresh-out-of-the-mental institution father and his emancipated teenage daughter venture together on a quest for an ancient Spanish treasure buried beneath their local Costco in this take on the modern family and the American dream.

All-in-All:
I am sceptical of films trying to be 'Independent' for 'Independent Film' sake. It seems to be a big trend in todays 'Hollywood' movies. Don't get me wrong i'm loving this movement due to its focus on story telling and outside box thinking. This film has great acting with convincing roles even though the source material was completely unbelievable. This is a must see for the people that wants to see a film not too out of the norm but safe.

Riko's Rating: B-